I hate the way my emotions are. one thing will, like a light switch, fluctuate in direction constantly throughout the day. Currently, I feel lower than I’ve felt for a long, long time- and it’s all because of the dreams I had last night.

Normally, my dreams are rough: suicide, being mauled, solitude, and dreams of neglect. For the past few weeks however, my mind gave me a slight break and I haven’t dreamed of anything that has influenced me negatively for a decent amount of time. Last night though… It still hurts. Some people I care about and hurt… They told me I would never be good enough. The looks in their eyes felt like my heart was cut straight from my chest. Later, another person I care for, neglected me. She told me how worthless I was. In another dream following this one, I killed myself. This time, from jumping from a ledge. The people I wanted to be there, weren’t there. I want to die.